Anything in life is temporERI...

Hey old friends and new!  It has been so long since we had a chat.  School is kicking my butt.  I'm actually having a really tough time this semester.  We'll talk about that later, though.  How is every one's February?  It came up so fast.  The snow has come, come again, and now melted into gray days that make me long for spring and lush green trees.  Soon enough - but most likely when that gets here, I'll be ready for summer. 
Isn't it human nature to want what's next rather than what we have now?  I personally beg to differ.  I'm pretty sure it's just a norm in our society that has taught us to be this way. 

Have you been able to keep the changes or improvements that you set for yourself for the new year?  Here's a little update on me.  Since school has started, I've made study dates and gym dates with new and old friends, continued trying to find time to read a chunk of Pride & Prejudice, and have lost a consistent 4 lbs.  Not much, but on a large scale, it is nearly a fifth of my goal in a little over a month.  Hope you are doing just as well! 

So, as you can see, my soul and body are right on track.  Still having problems with my sleeping habits, but slowly improving.  But here's the problem that I want to talk about today.  I'm having a little trouble with my mind.  Have you ever set your mind on a goal, and were so ready to accomplish it, that you dove right in!  We all have at one point or another, right?!?  But what if you get nice and deep into accomplishing that goal, and realize that you don't want it anymore?  Even worse, what if you still want it with everything in you, and you just can't accomplish it?  This is the problem I'm having right now in school. I went back to work on some pre-requesites to go to Physical Theray school.  I thought I had it all figured out.  I wanted to work specifically as a physical therapist to professional and pre-professional dancers.  Well, I'm quite a few semesters in, and I am struggling.  Struggling with the material, desire, enjoyment, you name it.  I feel like i've already done so much and to suck it up, but on the other hand, I don't know if I should push myself to do something that I really don't think I'll enjoy.  What a dilemma! 

What's your opinion?  Do you think that it's okay to admit when you might have been wrong?  That maybe the goal that you were working towards just wasn't the right one?  It kind of stings.  I've been trying to be pretty systematic about it.  For example, what costs have I incurred thus far? But the worst of all questions: "If not this, then what???"  I feel like having a goal helped me define myself, and now that idea and plan being changed has sort of left me standng here naked, with my pride bruised.  Have you ever felt this way about something?  The best example I can think of is a relationship.  Like when you stay with your significant other even though you fight all the tme and know it's not going to work.  When you finally break up, you feel empty, even though you know it's the right choice. 

So I guess this situation only proves to me that most things in this life are temporary.  So if you're going to use your belongings, or careers, or goals to define who you are rather than enhance it, you'll never be the happy person that we are all seeking to be.